Honoring My Daddy

                                            Clarence E. Ballentine
                                                  1913-1982

Already I've said a lot about my Daddy in this blog since I started it early in May. He came into my life when I was ten years old. Before that, I felt as if I didn't have a Daddy. Sadly, when I was about six months old, "Daddy Lusk"had driven home from work with a woman in the car. He gathered his clothes, told Mama he was leaving, and took off. They divorced, and he gave Mama $100 a month for a year or so, and then no more.

Mama had four sisters and seven brothers; many of them helped her by taking care of Jim and me for periods of time while she sought a job, or, when we were out of school for the summer, we stayed with our aunts or uncles on their farms. Most of the time Aunt Berl, the maiden aunt, lived with us and provided child care while Mama worked.

When I went to school in Pine Bluff, I noticed that most other kids had Daddy's; they bragged about them. I wished I had one. I didn't understand why I didn't.

Once Jim and I walked a few blocks to downtown Pine Bluff and viewed a movie. When we got home, the front door was locked, which was unusual. So we knocked loudly. A man came to the door, a man I didn't recognize. It was my Daddy, whom I didn't know. We sat in the middle room with him and Mama. He took me up on his lap, and talked to us. He smelled funny. He kept kissing me, right on the lips, all wet and smushy. I didn't like it. To this day I shudder to think of it. When I grew up I realized he did that because he 1) was drunk, and 2) had never had the experience of showing affection to a child as a dad. He didn't know how.

After that impromptu and brief visit, he made arrangements two times to take us to his parents' home in Hattiesburg, Mississippi for the Christmas holidays. We enjoyed our grandparents, and they were ecstatic about our visit. I remember them and the house, and other relatives who were there at the same time. But I really can recall only shadowy images in my mind of Daddy Lusk during those Christmas visits. If he was trying to convince Mama that they should get back together, he failed miserably.

Then in 1954 while I was still nine years old (before Christmas), along came Clarence Ballentine. He fell in love with my Mama, and asked her to marry him. I remember her talking to nine-year-old me before she said yes. I think she talked to Jim and me at the same time, because I remember his response, too: "I just want a television..." My response was "I want a Daddy..." So she said yes to him, and that resulted in my oft repeated sentence in this blog... We had us a Daddy.

I have talked about my Daddy a lot in these posts. He was the pillar in our lives. We didn't always agree with him. We didn't always realize why he did the things he did, until we were adults and had to deal with some of the same problems he dealt with while he was raising us. We didn't always agree with his ways of dealing with life. I cannot speak for my whole-, half-, or step-siblings, each of whom may have still have issues with our parents. But I can say with all my heart that my Daddy never mistreated me, always loved, led and blessed me, rushed to my aid on a moment's notice when he lived near enough, would always do anything he could to help me and mine... He was the best Daddy in the world. I loved him so much, and still do.