Forgetfulness. That’s me lately. Since I’ve been in Oregon the last few days, I notice I’m having a hard time remembering things I know very well. I’ve always been somewhat forgetful, but it’s getting awful. Over the past few days, in helping Rachel move from Independence, Oregon to Dallas, Oregon, I packed and unpacked and put away her dishes , and thought about my own dishes at home in Spring Valley. It took me awhile to visualize them in the cupboards. In my mind’s eye, the only way I could get a vision of my cupboards was by starting somewhere else familiar (my rocking chair in the living room) and walk my mind through the rooms to the kitchen.
It was the same thing with the washing machine. I washed a load of clothes for Rachel, and was trying to visualize my washing machine at home. I couldn’t. It had somehow disappeared out of my brain. The more I tried to think of it, the farther it seemed to recede into the dark depths. It just wasn’t there. Finally, again, I resorted to remembering the front door, and walking through the house in my mind. I found the laundry room. There was the washer in its old familiar place. What is the matter with me?
Maybe it’s just that I’ve been away from home for several days in a row. Even though I’ve been talking to my husband every day, perhaps my memory is more based on vision than hearing. I have to focus on the task at hand and my mind shoves everything else aside, out of sight, out of mind. Maybe I just live in the present…
Past… Present… Future… We do need to deal with all three of those. There is not much we can do with the Past, except tell it. Nor with the future, except prepare for it. The telling and the preparing have to be done in the Present. What is happening right now? How do I do God’s will right now?
I’m sitting here in this Oakland Airport waiting to board a flight home to San Diego. I’m in the gate area where I’m supposed to be. I'm waiting and wondering what Jesus may want me to do or say while I’m here.
Lord, please give me clarity of mind.
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